Conversation Cards

Use these thought- and conversation-provoking prompts to spark discussions about love, friendship, family, shalom bayit, and more! Read from the lists below, or print the PDFs, cut them up, and take turns reading aloud around your Shabbat table.

Conversation Prompts for Families

• Which acts or family rituals make you feel cherished?

• How do you know someone loves you?

• What do you do when you feel upset with someone or when someone hurts your feelings?

• Why are blessings important?

• How do you show someone you love them?

• Is it more important to be right or to be happy?

• What does shalom bayit (peace in the home) look like for you?

• Look at everyone around your table. What do you know about each person? Can you name their favorite food or hobby?

• What are some ways you could make the day better for someone close to you?

• What are three things you admire most about your family members? How do you let them know?

• For what would you like to be acknowledged?

• Is it ever difficult to receive a compliment?

• What is something you love to do as a family?

• If your family were to sing a song to you each week, what words would you want them to sing?

• What loving rituals does your family have? If there are none, what are some that you could start?

• Who is special to you and why?

• Talk about a time when a friend or family member helped you.

• What makes you a good friend? What do you do when someone isn’t being a good friend?

Conversation Prompts for Adults

• How was sexuality addressed, or not addressed, in your family of origin? How do you think that affects what you bring to the sexual dimension of a relationship now?

• Is it easy or awkward to discuss sex in your relationship? What would make it less challenging and more comfortable?

• Are you comfortable suggesting changes to your sexual relationship? If not, what can you and your partner do together to make that an easier conversation?

• How do you respect and maintain the comfort and familiarity of “the usual” while being open to new sexual experiences in your relationship?

• In what ways are names (e.g., “honey,” a nickname, or a name unique to you) a form of intimacy? How do names reflect the uniqueness of a relationship?

• Does the order in which friends and family name you as a couple – e.g., Bob and Edith; Jon and Dave; Sue and Michael – matter to you? Why or why not?

• How does omitting a name reflect an imbalance in a relationship? (Who signs legal papers in a couple? Who is spoken to when a couple sits in a doctor’s office, or a meeting with a teacher, or in a car dealership?)

• Name three important things couples can do for each other to maintain shalom bayit – peace in the household. What is important to you?

• Which rituals do you have for each other that help achieve shalom bayit – domestic harmony?

• Recall a time when you and your partner successfully navigated a significant disagreement; what allowed you to come to a resolution?

• Thinking of the relationships you observe among friends and family, what are some aspects of those relationships that you would like to avoid in your own relationship?

• Where do you see yourself or your partner, perhaps inadvertently, repeating patterns that you’ve observed in other relationships? How can you discuss that safely?

• Thinking of the relationships you observe among friends and family, which aspects of those relationships do you respect and hope to emulate?

• Do you have a loving ritual in your relationship? If not, what could it be? Date night? Daily hug? Annual vacation? Morning breakfast?

• What are three things you admire most about your partner? How do you let them know?

• What is your model of a strong and active woman? Who embodies that for you?

• What must be earned in a relationship?

• For what would you like to be acknowledged?