Hearings

While it is recommended that you contact a family law attorney with domestic violence expertise before obtaining a protective order, if you do not have an attorney you can still represent yourself at a protective order hearing.

Visit JWI's Resource Directory to find resources in your state to assist you in the protective order process.

Ex Parte Hearing

Once the petition is filled out, you appear in front of the judge to explain how you have been abused and why you need legal protection. This initial hearing is called an Ex Parte hearing because the abuser is not present in court. If you meet the requirements in your state, then the judge may issue an Ex Parte order, which lays out the terms that the abuser needs to follow. This Ex Parte order is only valid until the next court date or for a discrete period of time until the final protective order hearing, when you and the abuser both need to appear. You should carry this Ex Parte order at all times until the next hearing and give copies to involved parties listed on the order like employers, schools and daycares and also give a copy to a trusted confidant.

Service

After the Ex Parte protective order hearing, the abuser will need to be located and served (handed a copy in person) of the Ex Parte order. In some states, only law enforcement officials have the authority to serve protective orders; in other states citizens are allowed to serve the protective orders.

It is critical that the abuser is served with the protective order; otherwise the case cannot progress to the final protective order hearing stage. In fact, in many cases, serving the abuser is one of a victim’s biggest obstacles to obtaining a final protective order. An abuser who has not been served does not have legal notice, without which he can’t be forced to appear in the final protective order case. From the outset you should be prepared to give the court as much information as possible -the abuser’s height, weight, skin color, eye color, unusual body markings, and addresses for work, home, friends and relatives- so he can be found if he tries to evade service.

If the abuser is not properly served before the final protective order hearing, the judge can, in some states, extend the Ex Parte order. If the abuser cannot be properly served and the Ex Parte order can no longer be extended, the case will likely be dismissed. At this point you need to consider whether you should start the process over and apply for another protective order; however, you may still face the same service problems. It is recommended that you contact a family law attorney with domestic violence expertise before making the decision to file for another protective order.

Final protective order hearing

Once the abuser is properly served, a final protective order hearing can take place, either in front of the same judge who issued the Ex Parte order or before a different judge. Either way, you will need to testify again, in detail, about the events that caused you to seek the protective order and the history of violence in your relationship. In addition to the current act of violence, you should recount the worst and the most recent abuse, and also bring any evidence -such as photos of injuries, torn clothing, diaries, etc.- to support your claims.

Make copies of any documents as the court may need to keep the evidence.

Both you and the abuser (or their attorneys) will have the opportunity to question the opposing party about their respective versions of events. Enduring questions from an abuser can be uncomfortable and scary for you; but you need to answer as best as possible. Giving testimony is often emotional; it is okay to ask the court for a recess or break if you need to compose yourself.

Decision

After hearing the testimony from you and the abuser (and possibly other witnesses) and considering all of the evidence, the judge will decide whether the protective order should be granted. If the judge decides that the order should be granted, the judge will determine the provisions and how the long the order should stay in effect. The final protective order replaces other prior Ex Parte orders in your case.

Relief

At the appropriate time in the hearing, it is critical to respectfully tell the judge what kind of relief you want in the protective order (e.g. for the abuser to stay away from you and your children, if you need financial support for you and your children, etc.). If you don’t take the initiative to ask for exactly what you need, a busy judge with many cases on the docket may not offer the opportunity, so don’t be afraid to speak up!

“Your honor, I want for my husband not to have contact with me and my children because I feel we are unsafe in his presence. As I’ve described, he’s harmed me many times before and threatened to hurt my children. I want him to stay away from my home and my children’s school. I am a stay-at-home mother and I don’t have a lot of financial resources at this time, so I respectfully ask that he continue to pay our housing, food, and healthcare expenses for the next ___ months until I can secure a job outside the home. I also want my husband to turn in his firearms because I am afraid he will harm me and my children. I would like the order to stay in effect for the duration of ___months/years to protect me and my children from further abuse.”

Specific forms of relief vary by state. A protective order may prevent an abuser from:

further abusing a victim, her children, other family members
contacting a victim, her children, other family members
going to the victim’s place of employment
going to the children’s school or day care providers
living in the same residence with the victim

Additionally, in many states, a protective order may require the abuser to:

turn in firearms
vacate residence
pay the rent (including first and last month’s if you need to move because of the abuse)
pay the mortgage /utilities for a specified period of time, even if the abuser is court-ordered to vacate the residence
pay child support
pay school tuition
pay family maintenance or other economic support to the victim, including money for food, clothes, other necessities
pay medical insurance for the victim and/or children
pay medical costs, compensatory damages, and punitive damages associated with victim’s physical and/or psychological injuries as a result of the violence
pay for property damage caused by the abuser
give victim temporary use of the vehicle
give victim temporary use of personal property
address liens, debts due, other economic burdens
attend batterer intervention programs
attend drug/alcohol counseling
relinquish immigration papers or children’s passports
have no visitation or only supervised visitation with the children

Learn more about the economic relief that abusers may be court ordered to provide at protective order hearings.

Once the final protective order is granted, you will receive a copy of the protective order immediately following the court hearing. Make copies of the final protective order. Carry one with you at all times, give a copy to your children’s school and your employer and other individuals mentioned in the order. You should also give a copy to a trusted confidant. NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT YOUR PROTECTIVE ORDER!

Remember that although a protective order is an official court order dictating what an abuser can and cannot do, it is just a piece of paper. There is no guarantee that the abuser will follow the provisions and that you will remain safe. You still need to have a safety plan in place even if you have a protective order! A woman is at high risk of escalating violence by an abusive intimate partner when she attempts to end the relationship. If your abuser violates the protective order, inform the police and the court immediately; no action can be taken unless the judge knows about the violation.

Learn more about safety planning.